Archive for the ‘Remain depressed’ Category

Break up letter

Break up letter


Dear my girlfriend,

I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to write any mail to you. I know, we have broken up. This letter is just a memory for me. I will keep it as a proof of my feeling at this point of time. I don’t know what will happen to my life, but i know memory always gives happiness. It might be possible that i will regret for something at the end of life, but i am not weak i am ready to take all those pain, guilt and regret. I know you will think me as a utter egoist. I don’t care.

I know still you love me after all this quarrel. The same here. Some part of my heart still loves you. One corner of my heart says that every thing will be ok one day and we will meet together. But other corner of the heart argues that there is no meaning of such a meeting. I feel myself completely alone.  i know you have not played any game with me. You also know that i am feeling hurt. I am happy that you know that i am hurt. You will say that this is not love. I don’t care. When ever i remember all of your impolite talking i start to feel bad. Even if every thing becomes in favour and God arrange such a meeting than will i not feel hurt again. I might be take help of self acceptance but that is not original me. That is different me.

The most important thing is that now i don’t feel like that. I wanted to remain alone. i don’t see any point of meeting. These days i become slightly philosophical. I doubted my self whether this change in my nature is temporary or permanent. If this philosophy is for temporary then i will be sad for whole life. I am not afraid of sad at all. I am planning to take pain. I have searched the way to live the life. I don’t know all this plan will work out or not. Some time i fear that it might be possible that these plans will not give me satisfaction. Some time i think without you what is the point of these plans.

  On the other i think there is no point of living together. I know clearly it was love. Initially it might be attraction but in later stage it progressed to love. I can confidently say. I know i have hurled you a lot. You are still waiting for me. But what can i do? You know the reason. I know you feel guilty. But do you remember, one day when i asked to you whether you feel guilty or not. You replied no. Why you replied no. Why you said you have not done anything wrong.

That day i still remember and i will remember for life time. If you do something wrong then accepts that. I always accept my mistake. I learned this attitude from one of my teacher in my school. That teacher always encouraged to say sorry.  I know that ‘teacher asked to say sorry due to ego reason. But i am not saying you to accept your mistake due to ego. There was some ego in initial stage but later it  i became egoless. You might say even your letter is full of ego. I don’t care. another illustration of ego.

In initial days i was fearful from my family. But now i don’t care to my family even. I have lost my interest in parents. I became selfish. but I cant forget my mother. She is always with me. I started to love her more. I am happy that you taught me lesson of loving mother. This time when i will go back to home, i will say every thing to my mother. I doubted that she will be  unhappy by listening all this incidence. But what can i do. I will say her everything. Because no body is mine in this world. what ever the love i have to get i have to get from my mother.  i will try make her happy. I know she will ask for my marriage. I don’t know how i will i handle that day. Perhaps up to that time God will come out with some solution. Now every thing is on God. What ever he will do i will accept. I don’t have any choice. Helpless people and broken heart has no choices apart from praying.  I don’t have any believe in God. But i have left everything on him. Let us see what happens.

                                    I am feeling sleepy other wise i would have been written more.

                                                             Yours past

                                                            An  ajnabee


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Marry me?

Marry me?

Female rabbit proposed to the male lion,”will you marry me?”

Lion becomes astonished and asked, why you want to marry me?

I want to marry you because you are the strongest in the forest. I am weak and need your protection. Will you marry me,”she repeated in a humble tone.”

See, female rabbit i don’t deny your proposal, but problem is that i want to live freely. God made lions to live free. We are man eater.  We need new and always new. Innovation is imbedded in our blood. Marriage is not made for us.  But i respect your feeling. Even if i marry you i can’t guarantee that our marriage will last for long. I am man eater and always love innovation. We don’t taste the flesh of died animal. We hunt our food our self. It is possible that after getting married our relation does not last for long. I can’t guarantee that i will live my hunting habits. It totally upon you, whether you want to marry me or not. But i will suggest there are a lot of animal in the forest first propose them.

As you wish male lion. You enjoy your free life. You don’t care about your society. You don’t care about females. If every animal become lions then what will happen to forest ,”female rabbit replied and left in search for other animal.”

She reached to the door of male horse and proposed to the horse. Will you marry me?

Why you want to marry me? Horse asked.”

. Rabbit repeated the same reason.  I am afraid of all these wild animals of the forest. I need your protection. Will you marry me?” she again requested.

I respect your feeling rabbit. But i don’t feel like to be marrying. I don’t find any reason for marriage. You say you need protection that’s why you want to marry. But what i will get rabbit from marriage,” horse kept the valid point.”

I will love you. I will take care of your food, i will prepare your dinner, i will dress you in the morning, i will take care of your health. I love you that’s why i want to marry you,”female rabbit answered.”

That’s good i will get love from you and i will give you protection. But what the passenger will get. As you know I pull vehicle in the day and people pay me money. If you will love me then i have to give some love to you too. I can’t take anything in free. But problem is that once i will start loving you i have to cut time from passenger’s account that i don’t want to do. Passengers are my first priority in my life. What ever money, what ever love i get from those is enough for me. I am very happy in that much amount of love i don’t need any more. I respect your feeling but what can i do?  Why not you propose some other animal,”male horse suggested.”

Female rabbit became depressed. She needs protection. Hey God why why not you gave me so much strength. In the next birth give me enough power and strength. I don’t want to beg.  She prayed.

 The depressed female rabbit reached to the male bear house. The male bear was seating outside the house and waiting for some one who can enjoy him. He became happy as soon as saw the female rabbit. Come on seat here female rabbit,” he requested.”

No i don’t have time to sit,”female rabbit replied.” I need answer right now.

What happened? “male bear asked.”

Will you marry me, “female rabbit proposed.”

I don’t see any reason for my marriage. But i respect your feeling. Let me know why you want to marry,”the male bear kept the valid point.”

I need protection,” female rabbit replied in a depressed tone.”

That’s ok. I am not very strong but i will try my best to protect you. But i don’t see any point of marring. Let me know what i will get,”the male bear quires.”

You will get care, you will get love, “female rabbit replied.”

That’s good. But love and care are not sufficient reason for life long commitment,”male bear argued.” And more importantly it is an intra caste marriage, i don’t think society will allow.

You don’t bother about society. I have permission from lion she replied in a sad tone.

Ok, i agree for intra caste marriage but still i don’t find strong reason.

Depressed rabbit threw her last weapon. i will give you enjoyment, i will keep you entertained.

That’s sounds good. Ok i accept your proposal. But you remember one thing if i find any reason which is stronger than this i will leave you. And i will go for that. Till date i don’t find any strong reason that’s why i am marring you other wise i  have a lot of things to do for our forest.

Dedication: why we marry, there must be strong reason.

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