Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Novels’ Category

Loneliness Love

Loneliness Love

(1)

S ave me, save me. I am afraid. I am afraid. Shouting this, he entered into the – police station. The inspector was sitting in the chair. The inspector – his both legs spread on the table like note books, his fingers- flipping through stardust magazine, his eyes- gazing continuously some semi nude pictures, (of course in the magazine one, not the real one), his mind – imagining something (who knows what he is imagining, only he knows, these days God does have so much time too account for all this), his mouth – chewing Tiranga Zarda. Inspector saw the person, the person – entering inside the police station hurriedly, the person – feeling of insecurity, the person- mentally confused,  inspector guessed by his external feature. He is afraid – I know, he is afraid, Inspector said to himself.   The person shouted save me inspector, save me. I am in danger Inspector. Save my life inspector, save my life.

 Inspector kept his book closed on the table and sat  straight. As an inquiry tone he asked – what happened gentleman?  Have some body misbehaved with you? Gentleman replied – not, inspector. Why anybody will misbehave with me. I am very polite person, inspector. I never have a fight with anybody in my life. I have not hurtled anybody in my life, inspector. I want to live quietly and want to die quitely. Be happy and make other happy, “That is the motive of my life inspector”. I don’t expect anything from anybody inspector. So nobody misbehaved with me.  Then some body must have taken your money, inspector said in confident tone. No inspector. I don’t have money. Why any body will take money from a beggar. I am beggar from money point of view inspector.

 Then what is the problem with you – inspector replied in a bad manner, after a long void conversation.  I don’t have free time like you bastard – Do you anything to say? If you have, say in next two minute otherwise leave the police station. I want to lodge a complain Inspector, a complain inspector – he said very firmly the next second. Inspector repeated his sentence with a chuckling tone – “you have a complaint”. He replied yes, sir.   I have complaint. Inspector flipped his complained notebook, took his pen in his hand and now ready.

 He asked as an enquiry – what is your name?  The gentleman replied – my name is Innocence. Who kept your name – inspector asked? Myself sir, myself, no one else – the person replied. How you can keep your name your self – inspector asked. It’s a long story sir, a long story – Innocence replied. It’s long then leave it – Inspector replied. Already you have wasted a lot of important time. I have to go for strip club. I have an appointment there after half an hour. Next question – what is your age – twenty seven, sir. You are young – inspector chuckled. Yes sir, I am young, he accepted with a dyeing tone.

 Next question – what is your father name – Shree Nageswara Rao. Where do you leave? Shree Nagar colony, sir. The inspector was asking and writing without taking care of what he is asking and what he is replying. He asked – what is your sex, without thinking. Innocence started to zip up his pant. What are you doing – Inspector astonished. Sir, you asked about the sex. That’s why sir, that’s why? Without zip how can, how can,  he kept some of the next word inside his mouth. The inspector became furious and replied – Don’t be over smart. He again repeated don’t be over smart. Murmuring this, he wrote on the paper – Male.

 Next question – what is your complaint? I don’t want to marry, sir.  I don’t want to marry, sir. This is your complain, inspector astonished. Whose face I have seen in the morning, today – inspector murmured to himself. What a strange creature!  Innocence repeated, this is the only complain sir. Inspector noted it down and thrown the next question – complaint against whom? Innocence replied – complaint against my parents and our society, sir. Up to this time inspector was hundred percent sure what he has to do with this complain. But just as a formality he continued the conversastion.

Next question – what is the reason of complaint – sir, I don’t want to marry, but my parents and society is forcing me to marry. What type of peculiar person he is – inspector processed his whole picture in his mind gazing him. Why you don’t want to marry? Every body wants to marry; why you don’t want? Are you mad? Are you mad – inspector repeated? Without waiting for his reply, inspector repeated again – why you don’t want to marry? I fall in love with a girl sir, another girl, and my parents want arrange marriage. Oooooo..   oooooo ……. love affair. Interesting, Interesting-inspector replied.

 The conversation took a new turn. Dyeing interest of inspector once again aroused. Let us entertain for some more time with this fool – he murmured to his inner. Showing an interest in his love affair – inspector asked, what is the age of your girl friend? I don’t know sir, love does not see the age sir – he replied. She must be like a heroine, like Aishwarya- the inspector inquired. No sir, she is Shy. “Shy” my love. What do you mean by Shy? Shy her name, her name sir – Innocence replied. What a, what a, what inspector kept some of the word inside his mouth. Yes, sir, her name is Shy, completely describing her character. Some astrologer has given her name sir, some astrologer, Shy from birth, and Shy by her work, shy in wearing the cloths, shy in walking, shy in talking, shy in brooding, shy in smile, shy in sleeping, every where shy, where ever she goes shyness goes,  shy is my life and shy is my love, my love sir, Innocencence murmured. Ok, ok I don’t I don’t have to do anything with her name, what a name these days people are tagging, they are misusing the freedom of keeping their name, they should to come to police station for name to be tagged just after the birth, I say just after the birth, no late – inspector murmured.

 Is she fair complexioned, whitish or black – inspector asked inquisitively? I don’t know sir, Love is completely blind, and love does not see the face. Love only feels the heart, sir only the heart, nothing else – he repeated.  Inspector replied in an outburst what do you think? What do you think? I am fool.  No sir. You are inspector. A police inspector. The most renowned inspector, the most responsible inspector in the history the city, the most courageous inspector – the city has ever seen.

Inspector outburst diluted by hearing his praise. He again came to the topic of love affair. Does she love you too – inspector inquired? Yes, sir, hundred percent, hundred percent, even more than that, she loves me, she loves me truly – innocence replied.   By the way sir, it does not matter whether she loves me or not, I loves her that’s it. Do you want to marry your girl friend- I don’t know sir. Why you don’t know? Are you confused – I don’t know, sir! How can be a confused person will know he is confused, sir – he replied? Is there something wrong – perhaps something wrong, sir! Something wrong with me – he repeated. Inspector forwarded another question without paying attention on his answer – Does she want to marry you – I don’t know sir. The inspector become completely disturbed with his strange reply – he took his pen and wrote his judgments on paper and gave back it to Innocence. Get out from here – inspector ordered.

(2)

 Innocence took the paper and left the police station with a heavy mind. He was walking and brooding – No, these police officers are the real criminal. They don’t provide security. They don’t care about our feelings. They don’t care about simple person, a person like me. He gazed on the paper, the paper given by police inspector, the decision of his complaint. He was walking and reading, no reading is over now. It was only two lines reading – first line:  your complaint is void . Second line – you are mad, you are referred to mental hospital. He murmured to himself in outburst – I am not mad. You are mad, Inspector. Inspector, you are mad, who can’t understand the feeling of love. I am not mad at all – Innocence murmured.

 If you don’t want to help me, why not you write I can’t help you? Who will say anything , if you will write – I cant save you, I can’t help you? Why not you simply say – I can’t save you, I can’t help you. Why you say – I am mad. Are you doctor? Who are you to decide whether I am mad or not?  No, I am not mad. He asked the same question to himself in suspicion- Am I mad? No I can’t be. How can be a person mad who fall in love? Mad people do not fall in love. I was not mad before falling in love. My grades are good in examination that proves I was not mad. Is the love made me mad? No, I don’t think so. If this is the case, then the whole world must be full of mad people. Every body loves somebody, and every body has a good sense after loving relation.  No body is mad. No, I am not mad – he replied to his inner sense. He again inquired to himself in a doubt – whether I fell in love or not? How can I say, I fell in love or not? What is the proof that I fell in love?  There is no measuring device which will tell me whether I fell in love or not? Oh, the lovology is still very backward.

 I don’t know what these researchers are doing? They just want to publish some paper anyhow in top American Journal. . They don’t care about what is the practicality of the paper. Publish the paper don’t worry about its application – this is motivation behind present research. I should be a researcher – he boasted himself. In the present context, for the benefit of people like us, researchers have to make some measuring device,  which will ensure, whether we are in love or not? An instrument like Teaster, the electricity tester, which measures the presence of electricity. These researchers even don’t know how to steal idea from other field of engineering (like electrical one here) and apply in lovology. Analogically the name of instrument should be given love-tester (like electric tester). The principal of the love-tester is very easy the bulb will glow if you have love, the bulb will not glow if you don’t have love, when the tester is in touch with your heart.

Then they have to make another instrument called Romeo Juliet scale, in the dedication of Romeo Juliet, which will measure the deepness of love. I mean that device will tell you intensity of your love.  And I suggest, the scale should be calibrated with Romeo- Julie, not with Heer – Ranjha or somebody else.  Well, if somebody disagrees with my point then go for PhD and prove that Heer – Ranjha scale is better than Romeo- Julie scale. But I am sure at the end of his five year PhD plan he will also end up with Romeo- Julie scale. I know the future of love; I know the truth, hundred percent truth, even more than that – Innocence boasted to himself. They also have to make a scale which will take care of those unfortunate people who fall in love but did not able to unite on this earth. This type of scale should be further divided in two subcategories. I mean one for those unfortunate boys who fall in love with some girl but the girl did not loved the same boy, and the another one for those unfortunate girls who fall in love with some boy but the boy did not loved the same girl. For the second case I will suggest Mira Bai as calibrating character. And for the first calibration the boy is still in goggle search, and the research area is open.

So, in conclusion, I mean at least two type of scale must be discovered as soon as possible for the benefit of society, for the benefit of people like us, for the benefit of love-world. Gay and lesbians can wait for some time. I frankly say, since their origin is new, I mean they have been discovered in this era, so they have to wait for research, have patience, his/her number will come.  I am hundred percent sure a lot of complicated research will take place in modern laboratories in the filed of gay and lesbians. Is somebody writing all these ideas? I am giving all these innovative ideas free, completely free of cost, to the people who do research in lovology . For mine case since till date there is no scale available in the market so, I assume my love is real love, true love, my heart says that’s it, I don’t care about scale. I don’t care about any measuring scale. I don’t care about any love-tester – Innocence boasted to himself.

 

 

(3)

Innocent was walking and brooding. What a beautiful sunny day today, he realized. Why he is wasting his time in brooding? He should to enjoy the weather, the natural beauty, the trees, the bird, the sun, the sky, the cloud – he murmured to himself. Nothing is beautiful than nature. No girl is beautiful than nature. Nature’s beauty is everlasting and the girl’s beauty is blasting only in her young age. He was walking and enjoying the nature and the sun. He is enjoying – the trees, the cloud, the breeze and the bridge. Now he came near to the bridge. The famous bridge of this city, a lot of people, no… no… no… its not people it’s only the newly wedded couple, who comes to see the bridge every year.  Every year, from every part of the country, people from small town people from village, some foreigner too occasionally comes and enjoys the bridge beauty. I don’t know what type of beauty they see in this lifeless bridge; perhaps they come to learn the lesson of life from this bridge but go with only some memories, no life lesson, who cares about the inner beauty, the lesson, every body is thirsty of outer beauty the beauty of face, the beauty of bridge.

Look there, one couple is getting to be photographed kissing to each other to gather some memory of life. One day, one day – I and Shy will be there in place of those two couple to be photographed. The best couple, I and Shy, the bridge has ever seen in his life. Innocence and Shy, perfect match by love God. Oh, I wanted to look on them, gaze on them for a while, what a pleasurable sight, loveable to eye and satisfying to mind.  But how can I see? I am a well mannered person not a mad. They will think I am mad, if I constantly look at them, gaze on them for a while. No, I am not mad at all. Innocence repeated to himself no, I am not mad at all.  Now, he was riding up the slope of bridge.

The bridge, the life- No difference, exactly same, I say once again life and bridge both are same. Bridge is a life and life is a bridge – innocence said to himself. A bridge – the connector between east and west part of the city; a life – the connector between birth and death, the same, exactly same – he repeated. A bridge – the way to cross the river, a life – the way to achieve the Moksha, but I don’t know why people are so interested to get Moksha. There must be something interesting in Moksha, who knows, only the God, and these days even God does not have so much time to account for all this. He has to also take care of his personal life, the secret life.

A bridge – created by civil engineer, a life – a created by God; as soon as the name of civil engineer came to his mind- he became slightly furious. I don’t know why these civil engineers eat so much money. They take money from the government to making an express road, and as a last out put they made the street, the damaged street. A Street in place of an express road, what a nice creation! They took money to build the houses for the poor people and as a last output they made huts. Huts in place of houses, what a good creation! I don’t know where the money goes. They took money to make dams and they made pond, A pond in place of a dam; what a nice innovation? 

Fraud, Fraud, hundred percent frauds, every where fraud, where ever you go fraud; nothing else, fraud and only the fraud. He is tired to think all about these fraud ness. No, he will not think anything about fraud ness. Bad thinking always makes a man, bad, no, he a good human being – he always think good, good for family, good for neighbor, good for society, good for the human being- he boasted to himself.

Innocent started to walk, on the up hill of the bridge. Taking a deep breath, he murmured himself – Difficult to ride on slope, these days. It seems I am becoming weak. I must have to take some nutritious food to keep myself healthy. No, no, no, it’s not my weakness; it is the weakness of civil engineers, who made the steep slope here. These engineers don’t care about pedestrian, pedestrian – a poor person. They care only for corolla, Suzuki and other luxourous car. Pedestrian are not even in mind, at the time of planning these long span bridge. They know that nobody is going to walk on these bridges. We are the fool, who crosses the bridge by walking. The first part of the bridge, fifty meter long uphill span, he has to ride anyhow. Next fifty meter is almost horizontal, that’s easy to go and rest fifty meter span is very easy, down the slope is always easy – he murmured. But we careful there is a chance of falling down at the down slope always, be careful, – he warned to himself. 

Innocence again brooded – what is the wrong, if engineers make steep slope. No, no, no engineers are more talented than me. They took education in the school, universities. They must be right. If they made steep slope then steep slope is the best idea available in all human mind, around the world. We are the fool who don’t able to understand the meaning behind it. Eureka, eureka, he found it, now this time true hundred percent true. He found it. He knows every answer comes from life. Life is the biggest lesson to learn and I have learned a lot from life – he boasted himself.

 Bridge is a life and life is a bridge. The first part of the bridge, the first part of the life, engineers have to make steep. The first fifty meter spans of bridge the beginning of the life, the beginning of the journey on this earth. It must be steep, it must be tough, it must be challenging, and it must be thrilling. Life is full of challenges, so start the life with facing challenges, and start the journey with steep slope. The more the  steepness more you will learn, the more you will learn, the more opportunity to have, the more opportunity you have, the more the opportunity you have the more you will rise in the life, the career. Who cares about today’s difficulties, today’s trouble, today’s sufferings, we have to rise anyhow so that our career is bright our future is safe. . If we have to rise fast; we need steep slope steep slope, that’s it, nothing else. Engineers are right, hundred percent right.

We should have to provide the same steepness to our child, just after they born, no need to take rest, competition is very tough. We can’t loose even a single day. They have to go on the top of bridge, they have to learn fast. Keep eye on your child, give all the mathematics  book as soon as he starts thinking. And one more thing d, thinking starts before he learns how to speak, he learns how to walk, he learns how to pee? So, time is very less give those entire mathematics book before walking, peeing, speaking. As soon as the child becomes teen you have to concentrate more on engineering doctor as a career. All other career is just fake. They don’t give fame in the society, they don’t give money. Innocence was brooding and walking on the uphill of the bridge. He saw a group of boys is coming from the other side. What is that? What is in his hand? It seems something like a wooden board. Oh, that is cricket bad, and what is in the hand of other boy? It seems something like made up of cloth, white cloth complete white. I think it is pad. Yes, that is pad, and what that guy is wearing on his head. Now no need to answer to reader knows – every body knows that was helmet, a head – guard. The teen age, the real age, best age of life. An age of joy, an age of no responsibility, eat and sleep that’s it. They don’t have to worry about their carrier, the best part of life. These teens don’t care their studies. They enjoy the life. I was the mad who did not play in my childhood. I was the mad.

As the word mad came to his mind he became outburst. No, no, no, Inspector I am not mad, Inspector you are mad, your father is mad. The group of teen boys came very nearby. Am I mad – He shouted in outrage? Hey, Guys, Am I mad? Tell me, tell me guys.

The group of boys started to laught, laugh a open laugh. Mad, mad, look here – have you guys ever seen a mad person? Look here, the real mad, the actual one not the movie one-one of the boys shouted pointing towards Innocencence. Another boy replied, hey buddy, he is not mad. Are you mad – the boy asked to the innocencence? No, you cant  be mad – he answered his question himself.  I have heard that mad man always keep laughing , since you are not laughing   right now, so you are not mad – the boy arguemented. The first boy doubted – hey, buddy, you don’t know much about mad people. I know, I know, I have a lot of experience – first boy boasted. Some special kind of mad don’t laugh much, they remain silent, complelete silent- he repeated. These mad look like a serious scientist, they are not mad by birth, they have been made mad by so called Love.

 The special kind of harmone secreted during the intense feeling of love, which makes them mad, a mad, a complete mad. Another boy doubted – hey buddy, I have heard that those who are made mad by the intense harmonal secration have long beard, have long hair, takes a loot of alchohal, wants to sucide in the failure of their affair. He again repeted – no buddy, no this person is not  mad, never the mad, made by love. Who will love this five feet, slender body, black complexioned and despairing face ? who will make  her life hell, with this creature.

These days every girl wants smart boy, why any girl love an boring person like him. The second boy also gave his accepetance yes, yes, you guys are hundread percent right. No girl will love him. If some girl has seriously loved him , then, I say that girl is also mad, mad, completely mad. A strange couple of two mad people on this earth, made by the the God of mad not by the God of love, don’t defame the name of – third boy replied and started to laugh. The first boy, the capitan of the team ordered – hey buddy, don’t  waste time discussing about this mad. Our time is preciuos, let us go for practice, we have  final match tomorrow, the final match – capitam oreded. The boys left for practice living alone the Innoce; to think;, to brood; to fulfill his hobby.

Innocence was silent, completely silet. He knows these guys cant  understand the meaning of love. The meaning o f love, only those can understand,  who fall in love, its not a bookish thing, if you fall, you know what love is, if you don’t fall you don’t know, what the love is? who is mad either I or you, Inspector you, guys you notI. Hey, love God, mercy these kids they don’t know what they are doing- innocnece prayed by his heart. Mercy these kids, he repeated and started to walk up the hill, he has to cross the bridge.

He saw the bridge is suspended on two pillar, two pillar made of iron rod, very thick, very thick. The deck of bridge is hanging on tendom wires. Suddenly his mind asked to himself, why only the two pillar? Why not three, why not four, why not five or anything.   Who prevents these engineers to put as many pillars as they want. But why they put only two? He was brodding and brooding. Eureka, eureka, he got it, he got the answer. Every answer is hidden in our life, just we have to search it, re-search it.

 Two pillar of bridge- same as life. Life also has only two pillar that’s why it is analogous to the bridge. Bridge is life and the life is bridge- he repeated. Sex and love two pillar of life. Apart from love and sex ( not sex and love, love comes first then sex come after, although these days some guys are misusing it without caring the consequences) there is nothing in this world. What ever you see, what ever you feel, what ever you do can be summarised in terms of love and sex. No , no he is not right, he is forgetting something, there is one more thing apart from love and sex.

The ego; the ego of every person, but I don’t see any ego in this bridge. Where is the ego of the bridge. Bridge does not have ego, not possible, everything has ego. Bridge must have his ego. Eureka, eureka he got it, the third pillar, the pillar in the foundation, the pillar hidden in the ground is the bridge ego. Structure of these pillar resembles with the capital english letter Y. The two arm of letter Y  the two top pillar in the air, the bottom part of letter Y, the bottom pillar inside the ground, the foundation of whole bridge, the third pillar – the ego, the foundation of whole life. Without ego no life, without foundation, no bridge.  So, love and sex is standing only because there is a strong pillar ego inside the ground to support these two. He was enjoying the beauty of bridge and walking. What is this- the tendom wire, he replied to himself . These tendom wires, the sentiments, the emotions, the memory of life. Life is hanging, not hanging standing, firmly standing   on the three pillar, the love, the sex, the ego, with the help of these tendon wires the sentiments, the memory and the emotions. This is the bridge model of life- he boasted to himself.

(4)

Now, he is on the top of bridge, the second span of the bride, the constant slope, horizontal span. He will take a small break, he is tired. No body is here, I can pee.   I am feeling like pee. No body is going to see, peeing me here. I am not going to care, even somebody see me peeing. Every body has the same thing, the same thing. Done, peeing done. He zipped the chain and took a deep breath, forwarded his vision in search of something, something soothing to eye. Yes, he got, he got some soothing object.

 A newly wedded couple, yes, a couple is coming, not coming walking, exercising on the bridge- Innocence observed. The best part of life newly wedded couple. Beautiful woman, healthy man, a nice couple, he will also walk with her love  Shy some day, like a newly wedded couple, he is waiting for the day. He and Shy nobody else, walking on this bridge. The couple gave a break to their legs, yes, perhaps they also want to pee, but how can they pee, I am here, I can see, yes, I can see. I know they will not going to pee, waiting for the day.

The couple came to the top part of the bridge, women said to his man, we can have rest for some time, and then we will go, as you wish my love, the man accepted. Innocence thrown his look towards the couple, a look – slightly feared, slightly inquisitive, slightly sexual, and slightly talkative. As soon as the man saw Innocence is looking toward her woman, he asked, Are you new in this city, trying to avoid him. No, sir, I am not new, but sir, but – he left the second half part of the sentence in a hope that conversation will start and he will find opportunity to talk to his woman. The man asked what do you mean by but? Sir, I live in this city but I don’t like this city, I don’t like people of this city, I don’t like the society of the city. Why you don’t like, brother? What is your name?  My name, my name is Ino sir, Ino, he replied, he knows if he will tell his full name then conversation will go in the direction of origin of his name,  that’s why , he only replied short form of his name Ino in place of Innocence. Yes sir, I don’t like much this city – Ino repeated. Why you don’t like this city, Ino – the man asked?  Sir, what ever I want to do, I cant do in this city, I  am slave of society, I am slave of my parents, I am slave of mine relatives, slave sir, slave. And a slave never likes a place, where he is living, where he is working, if he likes  the place then he is not salve,   he is master sir, master, and a master always enjoy the place where he lives.

Now, woman also find interested in Ino conversation, she wanted to involve in conversation but slightly fearful. With courage she asked – what happened to you, Ino. I don’t want to marry, I don’t want to marry – Ino repeated. But why – she asked. I love Shy, Shy my love, but my parents want to marry some other girl. Arrange marriage – woman questions. Yes, yes- Ino replied. Is Shy love you too – she asked? Yes, madam, yes, hundred percent. She loves me even more than that, then what is the problem, go and marry her.

 Without love there is no meaning of marriage, love is essential for the marriage. Marriage for money, marriage for society, marriage for parents has no meaning at all. Two people living together do not mean that they love each other, they might be adjusting to each other, trying to make each other happy- woman replied. Marriage is not about making happy to other partner, both partner should have their own happiness before marriage.  When they come closer, in the institution of marriage, nobody have burden to make other happy. Since both were happy before marriage they become slightly happier after marriage.

Marriage for the sake of parents is burden on society. Burden because  you are trying to make happy ; you are taking a load of making happy, happy to your parents, happy  to your society, happy  to your family, and most importantly to happy to your wife. Its not a marriage at all – woman lectured. Happiness to other on the verge of your unhappiness. This is not marriage – woman replied.  If some body loves you should to marry her. You should not to hurt her. She will be happy living with you. You will be happy too. 

Right, right hundred percent right – Ino repeated.

Ino – I know madam, what ever you are saying is hundred percent correct. But what can I do. I don’t want to marry her.

Madam – you don’t love her, you are lying to your self that you love her. You are making fool to your self and the girl.

Ino – Madam, please don’t say like that. I love her and I will keep loving her. Marriage is not the end of love. Why you try to make business out of love? Marrige is not an outcome of love. Love is only love. Marriage and love are two different things.

Madam – why not you simply say you don’t want to marry her. Why not you say that you don’t have so much guts to go against your parents. If you don’t have so much guts then why you fell in love.

Ino – who says I fell in love by knowingly. I don’t know when it happened and how it happened. I was not aware of what is going inside my heart. Suddenly one day I found that my heart has gone away from my place.

Madam – why you don’t want to marry her? Are you afraid of your parents?

Ino – Parents, I am not afraid. I can go against them. I care them. I love them. But I know their love is inferior to the love for Shy. (My beloved)

Madam – then are girl parents are against this marriage?

Ino – not at all madam. They are not so rich so they will always accept me. They don’t have so much money to find the groom. They can accept any boy. They are worried about Shy marriage, but they don’t have sufficient money to marry.

Madam – if this is the case then you have to go right now and marry her. Accept her. She is your love.

Ino – I am always ready to marry her, but this marriage has no meaning. I love her. I can marry her but I know clearly this marriage has no meaning. This marriage is not the result of love. This marriage will be result of sacrifice. That’s why I don’t want to marry. I don’t want to defame the name of love. Love is pure and it should be pure.

Madam – You are a completely different type of creature, I have ever met. You are the guy who make their life complicated you self. If you will keep thinking so much then one day you will become mad.

Husbad (husband of madam) –  hey, he is already mad . I am judging him from last fifteen minutes. He is a mad. Let us leave this mad, and go for our walking exercise.

Madam – I also think this guy is almost mad. He does not know what to do? He does not have ability to take decision. Once you lost the power of taking decision you become mad. He is mad. Leave it.

Newly wedded husband wife couple left for walking exercise keeping mad for thinking. Ino asked himself once again. Am I mad? Police inspector said   I am mad. I have not taken his words seriously because those police inspector are already mad so how a mad can decide other to be mad. But why this couple said me mad. I am not mad. I know I am not mad.

 These couple is newly wedded so they are in honeymoon state. In honeymoon state very thing looks green. Secretion of honeymonial hormone makes people to think only about their self. No I am not mad. Thinking all this Ino started to walk down the bridge.

Down slope always easy to walk he thought himself. Life and the bridge are almost same. Life is a bridge and bridge is a life,” he murmured and gave analogy down the hill, with last part of life. He saw an old man coming behind him. The old man is jogging. He came very near by to Ino.

Old man – hey, young man why are you walking so slowly. You are young. you have new blood. Run, run for exercise, run for heath, make your health it will be useful in old age.

Ino – you are right sir, I generally do Yoga in the morning.

Old man – that’s good, Yoga is good. But the fresh air is also necessary for a sound mind so you must jog or run in the morning.

Ino – yes sir, you are hundred percent correct. Do you jog daily?

Old man – yes, I am concentrating in exercises. Since I don’t have any body at home so I have to take care of myself.   I will suggest you the same. Make your health very sound so that don’t have any problem in the old age.

Ino – are your wife is not at home?

Old man -no, she is not at home.

Ino – she is in her parent’s home.

Old man – No, young man she is with his husband.

Ino – what do you mean? Is she living with some other guy.

Old man – yes, she is living with her next husband. I am her ex- husband.

Ino – but how all this happened?

Old man – see, when relation losses their meaning then it is always better to end the relation.

Ino – was your marriage arranged or love?

Old man -ok, summary of our love story goes like this. We met in college and fall in love to each other, we decided to marry. We married against our parents order. We were happy.  Our life was on the right track. We were enjoying the days and night. We enjoyed everything which a couple can enjoy. We were a perfect couple.

Ino – then why all this happened?

Old man – see young man, after two year of marriage she told me something. She told me about her past. She told me that she has a past. I was astonished how this girl kept this entire secret behind me for two year.   As soon as, I know all this I started to hate her. Our relationship became worse day by day. We quarreled to each other even on small point. The same girl looking very different to me. I divorced her.

Ino – this is not fare to her sir. You have not done well. You are selfish. You are a egoist. You should not have done that. After knowing her past you have to paid more attention to her. And you have to accept her in all case.

Old man – it is very easy to you for say all this. Young man you don’t know one thing. Until unless you face some situation, you don’t have any right to give suggestion. For you it might seem I am egoist. I have not done fare to her. See, young man love without truth has no meaning at all. If she has told me all this earlier then I would be very happy. Either I have accepted her or I have left her. But she told me all this after two year of marriage. It is not fair to me.

She tried to make business out of love. Love is only love. Never make business out of love. It is true that I have not done fare, I am egoist. But if you would me in my place, perhaps you would also have done the same. Other option I have to accept her in all condition. I was ready to accept her but that was only the self acceptance and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not love young man. What is the meaning of relation based on forgiveness. It is always better to live alone and don’t feel forgived. We are human being and we have to live like human being. Who we are to forgive somebody? We forgive somebody for our pleasure for our happiness. I say it is always better not to forgive and accept the challenge of truth and remain unhappy. Unhappiness is also a good state of mind. I know I am unhappy, I am broken heart but I am enjoying the life.

What ever comes to my mind I do. I care my body. I care my money. I live for myself. No body is mine. This is also true that sometime I felt depressed and feel that what is the meaning of my life? That is the truth. There is no meaning of my life. I accept the bitter truth said by my heart. But I started to enjoy my life. Or other way I don’t have so much courage to end my life. So only option I have to enjoy. I enjoy what ever I do?

Ino – you are a very good person. You speak truth and the truth I love.

Old man – yes, young man, my life is based on the pillar of truth. I don’t care about happiness, sorrow, money, home or anything. By the way are you married young man.

Ino – No sir, I am not married.

Old man – then you must have a girl friend. These days every body has at least one girl friend.

Ino – I have my feeling attached with one girl, but I don’t want to say her mine girl friend. I hate this word. I like her; I am in love with her.

Old man – that ‘s good young man, I respect your feeling. You love her a lot, I can understand. I was also having the same feeling. I will suggest you; get married as soon as possible.

Ino – for me marriage has no meaning sir.

Old man – why?

Ino – ok, sir tell me answer of one question. which is better either to remain unhappy alone or remain unhappy after marry?

Old man- it is always better to remain unhappy alone rather than unhappy after marriage. Because, once you are married you both will try to make each other   happy knowing the fact that both are unhappy. Which is very bad, happiness comes from inside. It is illusion that some body will come to your life and will make you happy.

Ino – hundred percent correct, sir. The same I think. That’s why I don’t want to marry.

Old man – but you said you love the girl. If you love then go and get married.

Ino – no sir I don’t want to marry.

Old man – if you want to remain single then why you fell in love.  Either you don’t love or you are confused.

Ino – no sir I love her. It is truth.

Old man – are you worried about your parents.

Ino – who cares about parent’s sir. Love gives strength to go against parents.

Old man – then what is the reason?

Ino – reason, I don’t tell anybody sir. I feel bad to tell anything to anybody. I loved her that’s it. I loved her not because one day I will give reason why not I want to marry her. I loved that’s it. Does love always has reason. No sir love never has any reason love is only love. I loved that’s it.

I loved her only for the shake of love. I never thought about marriage and reason. I know the reason, and now it will go with me till my death. No point of telling reason and making business out of love.

Old man – are you mad? Until unless you will tell any body about yourself   then how will somebody will help you?

Ino – you too say me mad sir. I thought you are experienced person. You know the life. You respect the feelings but you too said me mad. I am not mad sir. Situation made me like this but I am not mad. I don’t want to take anybodies help sir. I don’t want to discuss anything with any body. If every body thinks me mad then I must be mad. I am mad.

Old man – don’t take my words other wise. I am sorry if I have hurtled you. Live the life young man. I know there are a lot of broken hearts travelling on the surface of earth. It seems you are also among them. Don’t worry man. I don’t say broken hearted men are mad.

Ino – ok sir, have a good day. Bye bye. Take care. I know I am mad.

Saying goodbye to old man, Ino took the other path. Now he was walking on the road. 

(5)

Ino is walking and thinking. Thinking is his hobby. No it is not his hobby. He can’t do anything else that’s why he made thinking as his full time job. He broods not because he loves to brood, he broods because he is becoming mad. Who says mad person does not brood. I say mad person broods more than a wise person,”Ino said to himself.” Talking to himself Ino reached to home.

Mother – where was you in the day? Some guest came for your marriage. They are from a good family. The girl is very educated and the family has good reputation in society. Go and talk to them.

Ino – I don’t want to talk to them.

Mother -they are waiting for you from the morning and now you say you don’t want to talk. What do you mean?

Ino – mother I don’t want to marry.

Mother – are you mad? Do you know what are you saying?

Ino – mother you also say me mad. Mother I love you. Please don’t say me mad. I am your son mother. Your son can’t be mad. Mother what mistake I have done for whom everybody is taking revenge from me. If every body will keep torturing me like this I will become mad one day. When I remain out side the house people say me mad, when I am in the house you say me mad. Where I should to go, where I should live? Neither outside nor inside the house. Wher My place is in mad house I know. I have to go to mad house. No body is mine. Every body thinks me mad.

Mother – don’t weep my son. Don’t weep. I said in angry. Why you take my words seriously.

Ino – no mother every body says me mad. I am frustrated of my life. No body wants to see me happy. I have already lost my life. Some how I am trying to make myself happy but this happiness does not seem good to anybody. Ok, if you think me mad, then I will leave the house immediately.

Saying all this he started to pack his cloths and some other items. Where is my tooth brush?

Mother – Son, why are you doing all this? I don’t have any meaning to say you. Let us go and have some breakfast.

Ino – no mother. This house is not my house. Mad people don’t leave in the house.

Ino packed his bag and left the house immediately.  He went some distance soon realized that he has not touched his mother feet. He came back touched his mother feet. Mother replied – Ino please don’t go my son, don’t go anywh where. Ino did not take his word seriously and left the house. His mother  followed him for some distance and then came back . 

(6)

Sir, give me a ticket, “Ino said to station master.”

Station master – for which train you want ticket?

Ino – Sir, I don’t know the name of train.

Station master – where you want to go?

Ino –  I am going Agra.

Station master  (giving him a ticket for Agra) – is everything ok with you. Why are going to Agra. Is your mental condition good? By the way for your information there is a good mad house in Ranchi ( kake, Bihar) too.

Ino took the ticket, paid   the money and without replying any thing came outside the ticket-line. He repeated to himself. No he is not mad.

He is going Agra. True. But he is not mad. It is only his beloved (Shy) who knows how am I intelligent person. I don’t care what other says. Oh, I should to to talk to Shy before catching the train. He will talk to her beloved (Shy). But what I will talk. If she will ask where I am going then what I will reply. I will lie. He took out phone diary from his pocket and dialed 0612-673535. Trin trin.

Hi hello, helloo.

Hi Shy how are you?

I am fine Ino.

Shy – everything is fine here. Where are you?

Ino – I am in house. I got a letter today.

Shy – which letter Ino.

Ino – I got an appointment letter for a company.

Shy – congratulation Ino, congratulation. I know my Ino is the brilliant. He will get a good job. I prayed to Goddess Durga for your success. Our pray was granted. I am very happy Ino. Ok, I want to meet you tomorrow.

Ino – no Shy. I am leaving tomorrow for joining. My training is going to start from next week. I have to hurry up. I have to leave the city tomorrow itself.  I am going by night train. Don’t worry I will be back as soon as my training gets over.

Shy – Are you good Ino? I know Ino, I have hurtled you a lot. I know Ino.

What happened to your marriage?

Ino – hey, Shy don’t say like that. It was my fate. What ever is happened was my fate. Perhaps God will do every thing fine.

Shy – No Ino, God will not do everything fine. If your parents selects some other girl. Go and get married.

Ino – hey Shy, don’t talk all this at this time. I have to go tomorrow. I have to do packing. My train is in the night. Let me start packing.

Shy -don’t leave any thing. Take the blue sweater, the leather boots, and two pair of underclothes, and don’t forget to keep brush in the bag. You will need brush in the morning.

Ino – ok, mam, I will take everything.

Shy – yes, keep some eating items for journey. Don’t eat anything in the train. There are a lot of thieves travelling in the train, so don’t talk to everybody.

Ino – ok madam, now let me pack. Bye bye take care

Shy – Bye bye take care Ino. Have a good journey.

Ino felt bad. I should not to tell a lie. But what can I do. This is the only option for me. In difficult situation lying is always allowed. The train rang the bell. Ino collected his bag and entered into the train. The third class compartment full of people. No place to sit. He has to keep standing. 

(7)

 

Ino entered into the train compartment. He is on the gate and fighting for going inside. Oh, what a crowd. No empty seat. Not even place stand. He tagged his bag on his shoulder and started to look rack. Is there any place where he can put his bag?   No, this rack is full. No empty place to keep the bag. As far myself is concerned I can remain standing. But standing keeping bag in hand is quite difficult. He looked once again for some empty place to keep his bag.

Yes, there is some empty place between two suitcases. I will keep my bag there. He forwarded his hand and tried to make some space between two suitcases. Yeah, now it is ok. He lifted his bag in his hand to fit in the empty place. A voice came from lower berth. Hey, man are you blind? Do you not see that there is already two suitcases are kept? There is no place why are you trying to adjust your bag there.

Another passenger replied,” hey man my suitcase contains some bottles and other important item which can be easily broken”, so why are you playing with my suitcase. What do you think every body here is like you keeping a hand bag. We are going to New Delhi. Our important items are there.   Don’t touch my suitcase. Leave it. You don’t see the whole train is empty look for some other places. Keep your bag there.

Ino become speechless. He lowered his bag and kept in his hand.   No he will not put his bag in the rack. He will keep in his hand. Four five hour distance is not much. His shoulders is not weak, he can lift his bag. He is physically strong. His shoulders are strong. There are some empty places in other rack, but he is not going to try there. Who knows as soon as he will try to fit his bag there some other person will say him blind. It is very easy to say others blind. I say they are blind. Money and comfort has made them blind. I never thought that selfish desire and comfort can make a human being completely blind.

He lifted his bag in his shouldered and made some space to keep standing.  Yeah this is the place where he can easily stand up. He stands up in passage. He is standing and observing the person. He wants to see out side the window.  He adjusted himself so that he can look outside the window. A person standing just beside him replied,” hey fool man why not you keep standing straight? Why are you touching my body? Stand up straight. Stand on your own weight. Don’t move your body here and there. Keep standing there where you are. Ok, I will stand straight, I will not look anywhere,” Ino said to himself.” But if I will not see outside then how will I know that Agra station came.  I think at Agra station every body will get down so I will do the same. The whole crowd is going to Agra. Agra is famous for mad house and Tajmahal. No, No, nobody is going to admit in the Madhouse, every body is going to see the Tajmahal. See every face is looking enthusiastic, inquisitive, and full of eager.

I can’t look side. I can’t look back. Only option to look front. My head will start aching if I keep looking only forward. No, this is time to test. Solders at the boarder keep looking front for twelve hour continuously and how I can not look forward only for four hour. Shame on me. Shame.   No I am a solder too. Solder of society. A normal solder. I will keep looking forward without moving my body.

 Ino is standing. Only option he has to see the straight. No side look, he knows if he will look side way then it is possible that the person standing beside him may scold.

Ino looked at the front seat. A group of ladies are sitting in that seat-compartment. One lady said to second lady. These days, head sir is not coming on time.

First lady – yes, you are right. Headmaster sir generally comes around 12.00 O’clock and leaves around 5.00 O’clock. Yesterday, head sir left around 2 O’clock. And as soon as he left Hindi teacher Mithilesh ji and Science teacher ghosh ji also left.

These are Madams at school,”Ino guessed.”oh I don’t have any Madam in my school days.  Madams are always beautiful. What is point of learning Hindi and English with a male teacher? It is always better to learn emotions from a Madam. A man can never teach Hindi and English. Emotions are only the part of ladies.

Third lady – yes, yesterday head sir, said to me take three continuous periods for class sixth. I took the class for Maths, English and Science.

Second lady – hey, Arti ji how do you manage to take classes of Science and arts both.   I think science and arts are different. I don’t know anything about science. I can’t teach science. As far as History, Civics and Geography is concerned I can teach to any class but science I can’t teach.

I will teach science madam. Why are you worried? Ino said to himself.

Third lady – hey Pooja ji, there is nothing in Science. You don’t have to do anything. I generally give task to student and then keep weaving my sweater. And some time I read from the book, line by line. Science is very easy; if you know how to teach science then there is no problem at all. Take some classes of science then you will gain confidence. Science is more interesting than History.

First lady – hey Arti ji I will come school late today. I have to get down in the next station. Jagdishpur.   I have to buy some owl for sweater.

Arti Ji – Ok, no problem, I will make your attendance. Take your time. No need to come to school. Buy the best quality of owl.

Third lady – Pooja ji, your station came, get down.

As soon as Ino heard this sentence he moved forward. He wanted to capture the seat. He hurriedly moved forward. He wanted to keep the bag before any body seat there. Now he will get the fruit of last two hour of minute observation. He tried to put his bag on the empty seat. Arti Ji pushed his bag outward. She angrily replied,” Hey young man are you blind.” Why are you putting your bag on my sari?  You idiot, how you dare to put your dirty bag on my seat!  Ino   drawn his bag towards himself. And tried to seat there. One person pushed him outward. Hey boy, are you mad? You don’t see I am going to sit here.

 Keep standing. What do you think we are fool? We are waiting here for last three hours. Is I am waiting that you will come and take the respected seat. You mad boy. Keep your bag in your hand and stand on your weight.

Ino became speech less. He lifted his bag in his shoulder and tried to go back in his earlier position. An another person replied why are you doing up and down? Why not you keep standing on your place. It is train not football ground. It is not your father’s field where you can move here and there.

Ino lifted his bag in his shoulder and looked down the surface of train. He almost started to weep. (weeping)   his eye became full of tears. He wanted to weep but how can he weep. The crowd will see him weeping. He will not weep. He will not cry. I am not mad. I am not mad. He said to himself. He suppressed his emotions. He cried, he wept but no body saw because he wept from heart not from eye. 

(8)

Ino was standing with his bag placed on the surface. He is eagerly waiting for Agra. A vender crossed the passage saying Pepsi, Pepsi. Pepsi only for ten rupees per bottle. Cold Pepsi,”the vender repeated.” I wanted to drink Pepsi. But how can I drink in crowd. I am shy.   I like Pepsi. I know we should not to drink Pepsi.

As people say our country money is going to other country via these Pepsi bottle. They sell Pepsi and make money and go back to their own country. I don’t like this idea. Why not our country makes Pepsi itself? In that case I think drinking Pepsi is ethically allowed.

I know drinking Pepsi damages health. But drinking Pepsi gives enjoy, I can bear heath problem on the verge of enjoyment. I don’t drink beer. I only drink cold drink. I think there is no harm in drinking the Pepsi. By the way I don’t drink too much. Some time I drink only. I don’t think drinking sometime will take a lot of money from mine country to other country. Why not government do something. If they will ban then I will not drink. It’s my promise.

 Ino was brooding, another Pepsi walla crossed the passage. Pepsi. Pepsi ten rupees per bottle, cold drinks, ten rupees per bottle.  How much money I have? Ino asked to himself.  I must be having around five hundred rupees. As I remember last day, I was having five notes of hundred and some twenty rupee note too. It must be in the pocket. Oh Shy warned me that take care of your money.

 Let me check whether my purse is there or not. He checked his pocket. Yeah, its there. I wanted to count the money, but how can I count in a crowd. What people will think? They will not think that I am showing the money. No, I don’t want to show the money. There are a lot poor people who don’t have so much money. What they will think to see my money. They will feel bad, because they don’t have so much money. No, I will not count my money. It must be around five hundred.

 Station Raghunathpur is coming next. Yes, from here I think Agra is only half an hour distance. A lot of people are getting down here. It is very famous station. A big station. A lot of passengers started to pack their luggages. Yes, now he can see out side the window. As soon as these passenger will get down he will get a seat. But what is the meaning of getting seat now. Only half an hour journey is left.

Train stopped at Raghunathpur junction. People started to move towards the exit gate. Ino lifted his bag in his shoulder. One passenger shouted,”hey, fool why are you blocking the passage.” Another passenger supported the first,”hey, young man why not you stand near the wash basin.” Why are you blocking the passage. We have to get down. Train only stops for five minute. Third passenger pushed Ino and he automatically took his place beside the wash basin.

 Why people behave like this,”Ino asked to himself.” Why not they politely say,”please take your seat inside the toilet.” I will keep standing in the toilet with happy mood. Why they talk like this.

A lot of passenger got down at Raghunathpur. Ino is happy. He took a seat near the window. Yes, now he can see the name of station clearly. No chance of missing his destination. No chance. Agra is a big Junction. The Junction name is written in big letters there. He is happy. He doesn’t remember he was standing some time ago. Now I am relaxed. Thanks railway India. 

(9)

Some passenger got down and some new passenger got into the compartment. A group of singer also entered. A lady, a man and a boy this is the band group. Lady is singer, man is playing instrument and the boy is collecting the money. They started near the door compartment. Lady started to sing

“ek din bik jayega mati ke mol…  

jag me rah jayengen payare tere bol”

 (Meaning : you will die one day at the cost of soil…… only your deeds will remain in the world). Ino became emotional. Every body has to go one day from this world. Why people make so many plans? Why we expect a lot from others? What is the meaning of all this relation? We have very few days left. Why people behave badly? Why people say me mad? Why they think me blind? Let them say what ever they wish. Let them get happiness by saying me blind

Life comes only once. Hey, God give happiness to everybody. There is no point of keeping agony for anybodies. Life is very short. All these emotions came in the form a facial expression.

The singing group forwarded toward Ino compartment. Lady, the singer saw the Ino face and started a new song.

“Her kisi ko nahi milta….

Yahan payar zindagi me’

(Meaning: everybody does not get love in this world) Why she is singing this song. Is she singing for me?  Ino asked to himself.  No she is not singing for me. There are other passengers in the compartment. Perhaps she is singing for them. Why I made my face so sentimental, so emotional, perhaps she judged my face. She knows me. Mother and singer can easily know their son and audience respectively. No, she just sang without any thinking. This song has no meaning related to me. The song ended.   Ino hand went to his upper pocket automatically.

He brought a ten rupee note and gave it to the lady. Lady accepted with a great pleasure and started a new song

“Duniya me  kitna gum hai ..

Mera gum kitna kam hai..’

(Meaning: The world is full of sorrow…   our sorrow is very few….) Why she is singing a song like this. I know world is full of sorrow. But what can I do? I am not a rich person. I am also in pain, I am also hurtled. Perhaps she is singing for me. She knows I am hurtled. I am in a pain. Is only those gives money, who is already in pain?

Is might be true. People of same caste, people of same race, and people of same culture always help to each other. Hurtled people easily recognize people of their caste without knowing their name, without color, without social status. This is a relation of heart. A caste system based on the condition of heart, a pure relation. I say there is only two caste exits in the world one the unbroken heart and other is broken heart. This is a complete caste. This is valid anywhere in the world. This is a global caste division. True for any culture, true for any country.

Ino requested can you please sing some other song. The lady understood the feeling of Ino. And suddenly changed the song

“Pardehi pardehi jana nahi

Mujhe choor ke .. pardeshi.”

(Meaning: my love  .. never go leaving me alone)  Suddenly facial expression of Ino chaged. Lady became happy and forwarded for other compartment. singing “perdeshi perdeshi…”  

(10)

The train reached to Agra Junction.  Passengers are getting down. Some are new couples, some parents with their children. No old man or no old woman. Old man goes to Kashi not Agra.

            Somebody shouted from outside Tajmahal only ten rupees in pollution less vehicle. Only ten rupees in pollution less vehicle, “the person repeated.” Ino collected his bag and got down. He stood on the plat form. As soon as he stood a person came and asked,”Tajmahal sir, only ten rupees in pollution less vehicle.” Ino replied- no brother, I have to go somewhere else.

            Ino asked to himself, where I have to go? Why I came to Agra. I am not familiar with this city.  Where is what? Let us talk to vendor at the platform. No don’t ask to vendor. They are pocket mar as Shy said one day. No, I have to find my own way. I am an educated person. If an educated person can not find the location and direction then how an uneducated person will find anthing. There should be use of education. We have to be independent ourselves.

But where I have to go? Why I came? I am a mad. I came here to go mad house. People say me mad, I am not mad. I will take my proof from mad house that I am not mad. Ino is standing on the platform and thinking. Another driver came, Taj mahal sir only ten rupees in pollution less car.

Ino lifted his bag in his hand and followed the driver. He sat in the pollution less vehicle. Just a minute sir, I am coming”driver replied.” Where you are going?” The driver replied just one more passenger, sir. As soon as we will get one more passenger we will leave for Tajmahal. Yes, he got the another passenger. A couple two in place of one. Driver escorted couple. Come on sir, sit down madam. We are just leaving for Tajmahal. Male partner of couple where is the seat? There is only one seat how two of us can seat?

No problem sir, driver replied. There is a lot of seat sir. Driver requested to Ino,”sir, can you please come forward near our (driver) seat. Ino agreed and sat in the front seat. The driver started the engine and left for Tajmahal. A lot of pollution in this city,” Ino said looking outside the car. ”

Driver – yes, sir due to leather industry we have a lot of pollution here in Agra. That’s why government launched this smokeless vehicle.

Ino – How your vehicle does not make any pollution?

Driver – sir, this is a battery car. Its engine works on battery. No smoke sir. Smoke free car.

Ino – ohh, I did not know that. That is very good. This car is then environment friendly.

Driver – yes, sir government is doing all this for the shake of Tajmahal. Scientist says if we will not use this vehicle then one day Tajmahal will become dark and nobody will come to see.

Ino – that’s correct.

Driver – Tajmahal is our life sir. Tajmahal is our food, Tajmahal is our shelter, Tajmahal is our school. Tajmahal is everything for us sir.

Ino – How?

Driver – sir, we get money only because of Tajmahal. Who will sit in pollution less vehicle if Tajmahal is not there? Who will come to Agra for looking dark Tajmahal. Tajmahl is our life sir.

Ino – Ino asked to himself, why I came to Agra. I did not come to see Tajmahal. He quarried,”hey driver there is a mad house too in Agra.

Driver – yes, that is famous too. But nobody comes by his own desire to admit in the mad house. People brought them forcefully and keep inside the mad house. Those are mad people sir. I don’t want to talk to them.

Ino – then why are you talking to me?

Driver – you are not mad sir. You are a very intelligent person. I can easily differentiate between mad and scholar.

Ino said to himself hey driver you don’t know anything. All the mad are not of same kind. There are some mad who looks like scholar. They are generally made mad due to blind love.

(11)

In the back seat of vehicle young man kissed to her beloved.

Young lady – hey, some body can see. What are you doing? Don’t do like that. Seat straight in your seat.

Young man – no body is here. Those two are engrossed in pollution free talking. We are not making pollution. Let them talk about pollution. Young man kissed once again.

Young lady – hey what are you doing? She lifted her hand from his shoulder.

The sound of her wrist rings reached to the Ino ear. His mind went into the back seat. What they are doing? This type of sound only occurs during love making. Is they are making love in the back seat. Oh, I want to see but how can I see. I am an educated person. As driver says, I am educated. Oh, one day I and Shy will also seat in the back seat and go to see the Tajmahal. These couples are lucky.

Driver broke the silence asking hey sir is this first trip at Agra.

Young man – yes driver, after our engagement this is our first trip.

Driver – that’s good sir. A lot of couple comes to Agra after marriage. Some of them make honeymoon here too. But I will not suggest for honeymoon in this city. this city is very polluted.

Young man – you are right. Agra is not good for honeymoon.

Ino (thinking in his mind)- I will not go anywhere for honeymoon. Our house is the best place for honeymoon. At new place you always feel unsecure. Who knows what type of person is there. Anybody can misbehave and our honeymoon is over. Even somebody does not misbehaves still we remain fearful about incidence.

 I don’t know from where this honeymoon thing came into our culture. Our grand pa never went for honeymoon. Honey moon is not a proof of love or marriage. I say the best thing is make your honeymoon at your native place itself.

Driver – are you staying here today night? There are good hotels for couple. They are very cheap sir. If you wish I can tell you the name. We generally get five percent commission for publicity.

Young man – no, we already booked our hotel. We are coming from New Delhi.

Driver – that’s ok sir. That’s good. Pre booking is always good. Who knows when seat will be full?

Ino – there is one of mine friend in New Delhi.

Young lady – where he lives?

Ino – madam, he lives in Katwariya Sarai. He is working in a multinational company.

Young lady – ohhh, we are also from Katwaria Sarai.

Ino – I don’t remember his flat no. it was something F-42.

Young man looked towards his beloved and replied F-42. The corner house. The big apartment.

Young Lady – the white building.

Young man – yes, the white six storey building.

Ino – he is mine child hood friend. We played together. This time when you go back please say my hello to my friend. He is very good by nature. Very polite.

Young lady – ok, we will meet him, when we will go back to New Delhi.

Ino – he is newly married, and living with his wife. My all friends are married now. Except   me.

Driver – don’t worry sir. you will get the beautiful girl, rich one and educated too. You are a talented person.

Ino – who knows future driver. Let God give happiness to everybody.(12)

The pollution free vehicle reached at the entry gate of Tajmahal.

Driver – yes sir, this is your destination. International Tajmahal. Seventh wonder of world.

Ino brought a ten rupee note and gave to the driver.

Young man – how much?

Driver – only twenty sir.

Young man paid. He stood at front gate and asked,”Is this Tajmahal.”

Ino – no sir, real Tajmahal is inside the gate. We have to walk for some distance then the tajmahal will come. My mother came here once and she told me about Tajmahal.

Young man, Ino and young lady started to walk.

Ino – Tajmahal is very beautiful sir.

Young man – who made the Tajmahal?

Young lady – you don’t know, it was Sahjahan.

Young man – yes, I remembered.

They were walking and a boy came from behind. A vermillion box, the famous vermillion of Agra, a real vermillion for life long couple, the blessing of tajmahal only ten rupees, “the boy requested.”

Ino – hey, I don’t need vermillion. I don’t have any wife. For whom I will buy vermillion. The boy looked toward the Ino with angry mood.

The boy looked toward the young lady and requested once again vermillion only for ten rupees. Every body buys vermillon at Taj. This is the famous vermillion of Agra. Every long lasting couple must buy vermillion here.

Young lady – give me a box.

 She took the box in her hand and tested. Yes, red color, pure red. She requested his young man to pay.

Ino – I don’t know when I will buy vermillion for Shy. He said to himself. (thinking). Vemillion a symbol of marriage. Is there any symbol for love? I don’t think so. There is no any symbol. Yes,Tajmahal is the biggest symbol of love. But I don’t know why people sell vermillion here. Selling marriage at a shop of love, completely unfair, “Ino said to himself.” They were talking and walking. They reached to the final Gate. Do we need ticket, “young man enquired?”

Ino – yes sir, see there over the window what is written.

Young lady read over the window and replied twenty rupees for Indian and fifty dollar for international tourist.

Young man – fifty dollar mean 50X40=approximately two thousand rupees.

Ino – oh my God so much money.

Young man – they are rich that’s why government charges more. Indian tourism department collects a lot of revenue from Tajmahal. Tajmahal is agood source of income.

Ino – ok, sir give me money. I am going to stand in the line. I will collect ticket for you too. Young man gave a fifty rupee note. Ino stood in line and after five minute he got the ticket. All three entered inside the main door.

Oh my God, such a beauty, wonderful, marvellous,”Young ladies replied

Young man – where is the Camera?

Young lady looked into the hand bag and brought the camera.

Ino – give me the camera sir, I will take photograph.

They both stood in front of the Tajmahal.

Ino – more closer sir, slightly more closer, a perfect couple, keep closer, no distance in between.

Young man came closer to young lady.

Ino – yes, now it is ok, smile please, one, two, and three. Ohhh. Which button sir?

Young man came forward and instructed him, you have to push the red button, this is a automatic camera. You don’t have to adjust anything. Ok sir,”Ino replied.”

Go ahead sir. Smile please, yaa , yaa that’s good. One, two, three,”Ino clicked the photograph.”

Ino wanted his photo graph too. But how can he say? This is not his camera, even if they take photo then how he will manage to get photograph.  

Ino – now, I should not to disturb this couple. They have to enjoy. I should leave their group. ok, sir, I am going for drink. You guys just start to move around the Tajmahal.

Youg man – ok, Ino nice to meet you. You are a nice person. You are humorous too.

Ino – no sir, I am not humorous, situation made me humorous. I am mad.

Young man – don’t kid, go and drink water and start touring Tajmahal. It will take around two to three hour to see every place here.

Ino – yes, sir that is correct. Enjoy the beauty of Taj. See and where ever you find beauty in Taj stop there and feel the Taj at your heart. It is a place of love. It is a symbol of love. See, only the couples are here. I am the only bachelor.

Young lady – you are humorous.

Ino – no madam. I am not humorous at all. Ok, madam you together enjoy the beauty of Taj. I will tour alone after drinking water. I generally prefer to be alone. In loneliness I can think and I can enjoy.

Young man – ok, see you Ino.

Ino drank water. He was thirsty from last three hour. After drinking water he is looking for toilet. First he will go for toilet and then see the Taj beauty. Yes there is the toilet open toilet below the tree. No body is looking at me. I am done. 

(13)

Ino peed. He saw the Taj. He folded both his hand and bowed down in front of Taj. Every body looked at him, what he doing? Ino does not feel good when a lot of people concentrate on him. That’s why he wants to remain alone not in the crowd. He looked for some aloof space from where he can enjoy the beauty of Taj sitting alone. Yes, he got below that tree.

 He kept his bag down to the earth and sat there. Oh what a nice weather today. What a cool breeze flowing. Soothing. In sunny day Taj always looks gorgeous, people says about Taj and I am feeling Taj.  Why people go very near to Taj? What they see from very near? Are these people are civil engineers? I know civil engineers observe the historical places very carefully. He takes care of every stone.  What type of cement they used? What type of sand they used in back time? What was the architecture at that time? I think these people r are more interested in technical aspect rather than beauty

But I don’t understand why every couple goes very near to Taj. Are all they also interested technical aspects? If they are interested in technical facts then what is the point of coming here. There are a lot of information available in books about Taj. Reading those books enough for knowing the facts.

Is they go near to see the beauty. Yes, perhaps they go near to see the Taj beauty. They are fool. Beauty is a thing which should always be praised only from distance.    As soon as you come closer to a beauty, beauty losses its meaning. That why people wanted to maintain certain distance with her beloved too. They want to enjoy the beauty. That’s why distance. As soon as you go very close to beauty, beauty becomes simple. Beauty is only defined in terms of long distances. That’s why I am sitting here below the tree and enjoying the Taj beauty.

What a great Tajmahal. Very beautiful. Oh, one time Shy said we will go to Agra and see the Taj. What the fortune with me. I am here but Shy is not here. See, every where couple is kissing to each other. I am only the bachelor.

The dome of Taj like Shy’s head. Oh what is the meaning of star symbol on the top of Taj, nothing but Bindiya on Shy forehead. Dome is spreading both side, yes her cheeks also spread both side full of laugh and humor.where is the eye? I can’t see eye. Shajhan forget to make eye in the Taj. No, it is not possible Shajahan was a renowned lover. How can he forget eye? Eye is the the door of heart. The only one way to reach to the heat of beloved. Got it. The door, the door of Taj is eye. That’s why Sahjahan made two door. Entrance to Taj is like entrance to the heart. What a great mind Sahjahan was having. He is a great lover I can see. For a simple person it is very difficult to see all this hidden beauty.

Ino was sitiing and trying to see Shy in Tajmahal. It is my Taj. Tajmahal is my Shy. Hey, Sahjahan I don’t have so much money like you. I am not king. I am a slave. I am mad. I want to make a Taj for Shy. Why you made Taj as a symbol of love. You should have made something else, which every person can easily get. See for marrige symbol is Vermillion, everybody can get easily. I need symbol of love. I need memory of love. I beg you. People say “every thing is allowed in love and war.” That’s why I am begging. I beg for my love. I don’t ask for any physical Tajmahal. I beg a emotional share in Taj. I want memory with Taj.

It is almost evening time. Every body saw Tajmahal and left. They left for their hotels, some for them for their home. Where I will go,”Ino asked to himself.” No I will not go anywhere Taj is my house. Taj is my life. I have already requested my share in Taj to Sahjahan. I know he will never deny. Sahjahan is a very good person. Let us go inside the Taj. Look inside the heart of Shy.

Ino entered into the Taj. Its night time nothing is clear inside. Who comes here to see? I came here to feel. Heart is not made to see. It is made to feel the heart beat. Ino sat in the heart of Taj and started to feel the heart beats of Taj. A true unison between Taj heart beat and Ino heart beat. A true love, a true love he shouted.

The Tajmahal, Shy and I all are same. We all are same. Sahjahan is also in my family. Mumtaj is also in my family. I love all. I love Sahjahan, I love Mumtaj, I love Shy. This is our house. Sahjahan and Mumtaj is my family member. Ino satrted to dance with joy. This is a dance of his heart. A soul dance which came into a form of expression. He kissed the Taj wall. I love you Shy. Shy I love you. You are my love. Love and only love. Don’t relate love with marriage or anything else. Ino is dancing and singing. His favorite song “pardeshi pardeshi jana nahin”.

Oh why that lady at train sang some odd song. Why they sing “duniya me kitna gum hai…..” I know world is full of sorrow but what can I do? I am a poor person. I don’t have any money. Why she sang the song “her kisi ko nahi milta yahan payar zindagi me.” No she is not correct. Everybody gets love. I   got love. Even a single day of love is enough. Love is love. I am in love. I felt love.

He saw a watchman in police dress in the courtyard of Taj. Hey police, I am not mad. You are mad. You are mad. He shouted. I am not mad. He started to weep. Ino is singing dancning and weeping. I am not mad, police you are mad.  

(14)

Ino is dancing weeping and singing.  All action at the same time. The watchman saw. What he is doing? Watchman asked to himself. Is he become mad,”watch man guessed.

 Watchman ( with a quarry) – hey, what is your name?

Ino – my name is Ino.

Watchmen – either you are Ino or you are Pino,  I don’t care. What are you doing inside the Taj in the night?   Do you not know that no visitors are allowed in the night?

Ino – I am not a visitor. Taj is my house. Sahjahan was from my brother and he gave me share in in Taj. You are watch man you can only watch the Taj. You can’t feel emotions of Taj. You only understand rules and regulation; emotions are different than rules and regulation.

Watchman slapped Ino and replied you will teach me rules and regulations. Why doo you understand yourself as a hero? Even your father has not capability to talk to me, you will teach me rules. Idiot.

Ino shouted, Shanjahan come on, come on help me. There is a thief broke into our Taj. He does not listen emotions. He does not hear the heart beats. Come on Mumtaj, come on this watchman is misbehaving with me. Shy, you also come on; we will go together to the jail. Saying this sentence, he started to embrace  the doorsill there.

    Are you mad? Watchman questioned? Ino cried in aloud voice I am not mad, you are mad, your mother is mad, your father is mad. Hearing his loud voice another watchman came.

 The second watchman discussed to the first watchman, he is a mad. Hold him. The first watchman quarried “how do you know he is mad?” I have a five year experience with mad people. I was there as a watchman at mad house. I also worked for one year at Ranchi mad house. I know every act of mad people.

His activity resembles with mad people. He is in the first stage of madness. It is better that we recognized his madness in the first stage other wise he can be dangerous for society. Ino was listening all this. He questioned angrily ,”who is dangerous?” I or you.

Both watchman holded him with full strength. He resisted but what he can do, he is already weak. Where are you going? Ino asked.

Watch man – don’t ask any thing. We are going to your house.

Ino -my house is here itself. Taj is my house.

Watchman – Taj is not your house. Taj is your wife house. Your wife will live here and you will live in real Taj house. Don’t worry we will be here at Taj itself.

Ino – hey, watchman don’t speak like that. You guys don’t know how to talk? Who made you watchman. Is there no examination for selection of watchman.

One watchman gave him another slap and replied shut up.  Walk silently. We will be act very rudely if you will talk like this. Both watchmen pulled him to the mad house. The superintendent of mad house came. He asked to watchman who is this?

Watchman – he is a mad. He says Taj is his house?

Superintendent (in a laughing tone) – last year, we also have a same type of case. He also said Taj is his house. I don’t from where this type of mad coming.   After one year of treatment he gained his sense and we released him.

Watch man – keep him for two year sir. He is in the second stage. His madness reached upto his mind that’s why he is not talking well. He lost his sense of talking.

From where are you coming? superintendent asked.

Ino – I am coming from city.

Supritendent – every body comes from city. I am asking which city.

Watchman – don’t ask anything to him he is mad.

Another watchman- sometime I felt he is terrorist. He might be having bomb in his bag.

Supritendent – check his bag. He might have a plan to destroy the Taj.

Ino – hey, you destroy Taj. I worship Taj.

Fist watch – there is nothing sir in his bag.

Supritendent – check his pocket.

Watch man – there is nothing. Yes, one paper and five hundred rupees notes.

Ino – ye, you are lying there are twenty rupees notes too.

Watch – yes, keep twenty rupees notes. Buy some sweets and eat.

Another watch – no, no he will buy gift for her beloved. Twenty rupees is enough.

The two watchmen shared the fived hundread rrupess notes in front of Ino’s eye.

Superintendent – give ne that paper. What is written there?

Watchman read the paper. “You are mad and you are referred to mad house”, by te order of police station Hoshiyarpur.

 Where are you wondering from last two days? You are a certified mad. You are dangerous for society. Superintendent called his attended and ordered,”close him in the shell no 342. First category of mad people.

(15)

Advertisements

Read Full Post »